i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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