There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
