I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
