brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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