one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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