The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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