apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
