im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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