WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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