I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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