That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize