she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
