yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
