I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am midnight drunk by noon
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
