Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize