Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
