Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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