marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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