I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
