pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
