id be glad to
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
