She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
