Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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