I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
