i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize