he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
