Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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