I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have aggressive nipples.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
