you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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