The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
