well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just google imaged poop.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
