is your mom at the bar?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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