it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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