we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
