And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She is in my trunk
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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