Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize