i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She told me I should be a condom model.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
