he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
