I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
