he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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