He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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