The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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