If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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