ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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