Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
