I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
