I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
