you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i think my cat just said my name.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
