PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
