Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
