I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize