Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
