we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am available for nakedness
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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