at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We smell like vodka and hangover
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