the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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