haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
