eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My liver just had a heart attack.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
