how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
