Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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