At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
