THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize