My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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