im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
