I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
