Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My pussy is not your playground.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize