Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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