also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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