Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
